Hazel Hellbender


Hazel Hellbender is the worst person you will ever meet.  Ok probably not but she's not super great at writing about herself.  She used to do regular theatre, and good ol' singin' and dancin'. then accidentally started doing burlesque and everything went to hell.  Her clothes practically take themselves off now.  Hazel also performs with the Belmont Burlesque Revue, and treasures Plan 9 as she sometimes feels like she's not weird enough for this crowd (editors note: she is).  When not onstage, Hazel can be found chasing her little dog around, trying to get her life together, and exfoliating. Regularly. 


Plan 9 Questionnaire

  • How did you get started in Burlesque and Plan 9?

My guy friend emailed me the audition notice for Boobs and Goombas and said I had to do it because he couldn’t, and even if I didn’t get it the audition would be fun as it was clearly the most ridiculous thing imaginable.  Then people kept letting me do burlesque and Plan 9 was formed and they let me too.

  • Is there a story behind your burlesque name?

I had no idea what to choose so I made a spreadsheet -one colum of potential first names, one of last names, and sorted and re-sorted them until I found Hazel Hellbender.  It is alliterative, but makes no sense.

  •  What is your favorite number?

Carmen SanDiego was my first solo so I’ll always be partial to that one.

  • If you could be any fictional character who would you be and why?

The extra-fictitious, biologically-impossible love child of Buffy Summers and Hermione Granger

  •  What’s one thing people may be surprised to learn about you?

I know the German words to Symphony No. 9 (as heard in the ending credits of “Die Hard”, but that’s not why I know it)

  • Where else can people find your work?

Belmont Burlesque Revue, guest spots with various troupes around town, my desk at the office.


Lightning Round

  • Star Trek vs Star Wars

Wars, A Nude Hope (It’s the one I know, just let me have it). Editors Note: It's definitely a New Hope. ;)

  • DC vs Marvel

I’m a bad nerd because not so good at comics.  Whoever has the fanciest costume is in my opinion the best.

  • Harry Potter vs Twilight

Harry Potter, I think Prisoner of Azkaban is the best book. (PS this question is a joke, right? RIGHT?!)

  • Doctor Who vs James Bond

Doctor Who, David Tennant (side question, no one has played both, right? That would not be fair).

  • What is your dream nerdlesque number?

I think its probably Harry Potter related but if I had come up with it, I would be doing it now.  For undoubtedly many dollars.  I also love the idea of just huge nerdy group numbers with a bunch of characters.